Sunday morning here, Sunday night there. An ICQ message session. In translation, but otherwise fully authentic:
…………………………………………………………………..
16-year-old-hormonal-cousin (16YOHC): So, there is this girl in my school that I really like.
Almost-26-year-old-hormonal-me(A26YOHM): Oh, yeah?
16YOHC: Yeah, but she does not know it. It sucks.
A26YOHM: Well, you can do something to let her know. Do you two talk often?
16YOHC: Yeah, we text message.
A26YOHM: I mean, in person.
16YOHC: No.
A26YOHM: So, you text message, but you don’t talk in person.
16YOHC: Yes.
A26YOHM: What do you text message about?
16YOHC: Stuff.
A26YOHM: … Ok. Do you see each other?
16YOHC: Like, date?
A26YOHM: No, in school.
16YOHC: Oh yeah, I see her in the hallway. And sometimes she hangs out with my friends.
A26YOHM: Maybe you can ask her out on a date, so you can get to know her better?
16YOHC: You mean to the movies?
A26YOHM: Yes, just ask her if she would like to do something. Sofia is a big city. Lots of things to do.
16YOHC: Like what?
A26YOHM: Well, I don’t know what’s cool now, but we used to go to these nice cafes for cappucino after school, or movie festivals, concerts, the theater, art exhibitions, sports events, skiing/skating/biking outside the city on the weekend. Lots of things. You school is right in the middle of the city, there is so much going on around it.
16YOHC: Oh, yeah, I see. I will do that.
A26YOHM: Yes. I think you should. And then you will get a chance to talk outside of school and maybe then you will decide that you want to spend more time together and one thing will lead to another.
16YOHC: So should I text message her now and ask her?
A26YOHM: Why do you like text messages so much?
16YOHC: Why not? It’s cheap.
A26YOHM: Talking in person is free.
16YOHC: LOL
A26YOHM: ?
16YOHC: You are probably not the best person to ask about love stuff. I will ask your brother. He is cool and has a girlfriend. And he understands me.
A26YOHM: Yeah, I am sorry. I am not very up-to-date with the teenage dating scene in Sofia. My brother has a girlfriend? I did not know that.
16YOHC: Oh well, then you did not hear it from me.
A26YOHM: Whom did I hear it from then?
16YOHC: Someone TXTed you.
……………………………………………………………………
Moral of the story: I should upgrade my phone plan to include cheaper text messages.